Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
