he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
being pregnant is like rehab
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
