Don't you send me to vm
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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