the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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