What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
