Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
