Got a toothbrush?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
