i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
