Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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