Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize