just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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