my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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