So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
what day is it and did you see me today?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Randomize
