the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The air was thick with penises
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
