He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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