I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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