I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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