I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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