he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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