based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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