I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
