yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize