i permit you to call me
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
