Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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