Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
