He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
