I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize