We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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