It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
