I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
