so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
