Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
