$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just invented taco cereal.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
