hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
