Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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