This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
