How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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