i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
