oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she told me i tasted like america
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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