I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
