i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
