i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize