Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
