three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
