Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
