By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
