Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He kissed a someone with a penis
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
