I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
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What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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