i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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