im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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