Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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