I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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