Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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