He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
