Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
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