sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
