this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
How does it feel to date your dad?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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