We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
