What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My dick has a subreddit
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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