dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
