I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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