if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
